FG to Appoint New Special Adviser on Cow Urbanisation

The Federal Government has concluded plans to appoint a new Senior Special adviser to the President on Cow Urbanization. This follows the incessant requests by Abuja residents and other urban dwellers to ensure that the cows frequently seen in the urban areas follow the rules and regulations of urban cities.

One resident who was interviewed, complained that the cows need to be trained proper use of walkways and obedience of traffic lights. Another resident urged the government to construct public toilets for the cows as it would reduce the need to defecate publicly.

The FG spokesperson did not confirm or deny this proposal, but sources close to the govt confirmed this move saying, it would increase the population of the country and ensure the cows also pay taxes which would improve the economy. This move is expected to generate N1billion to the Govt coffers.

We think its a brilliant move as it will ensure that the Cows also enjoy human  cow rights. They deserve a right to enjoy urban life biko. I hope this won't affect the availability of Suya and my beloved kilishi, before someone starts screaming Genocide