A year to remember

So I've been away, yes I know... Blogging isn't some easy things men! Linda and co, una dey try shaaaa....
Anyways, I'm just chilling in my loo (just shut up and read, aproko), and so many awesome ideas came to mind ( now you understand why they say the loo is a place great ideas are born, right?) on how to be more productive in 2017, as well as the opportunities missed in 2016. This year was not funny sha. But God in his infinite mercy let me and my family and friends ride through this year and for that I am so grateful!
In any case, I promise to bring you guys the best content you can ever get on the internet and this will come with some rebranding.
In the meantime, my people still don't believe I'm a man till I dance with a wrapper to the market square. Its a ceremony called Iwa Akwa. Yes, my "manhood" initiation will be coming up on the 2nd of January, 2017 at Umunakanu Okpaziza Community, with the reception to be held at Obi ObaNze, High Chief R. O. Egbule's compound, Umuezeala-ihu, Umunakanu, Ehime Mbano.

Please come and support me as I obtain my manhood. And its not the one Mama Peace was talking about oh! That one dey kampe!

I'm Josh and I know how to talk sense!

Happy 2017!

Cow arrested by LASTMA for following one way

A cow has been arrested for breaking traffic rules and moving "against traffic".

A spokesman for the traffic agency confirmed that the cow was indeed in its custody as it was apprehended by its officers on duty for strolling against traffic. It confirmed that plans were in motion to charge the cow to court for this traffic offence. If convicted, the cow may be converted to Kilishi or African kebab and cow tail suya.
The spokesman urged all cow herdsmen to ensure that they obey all traffic laws in the state

Messi Suspends ball in the air for 20minutes

Barcelona star and four time world footballer of the year, Lionel Messi, hit the record books once again as his skyward shot got entangled in the clouds for over twenty minutes.
This feat occurred in a warm up preseason friendly match which saw Barcelona take on an unscheduled team.

Messi, had dribbled six players and was one on one with the keeper when he decided to shoot but the ball hit the bar. In anger, he shot the ball into the sky and the ball kept moving higher and higher until it was entangled in the clouds. For over twenty minutes, the stadium watched in awe and in confusion. Eventually the deflated ball came crashing down to earth, and was taken away by the ball boys.

The referee issued a yellow card to Lionel Messi for his "bad temper" and a freekick awarded for the delay.

In a post match interview, Messi said that he didn't intend to set any new records but was frustrated as the ball hitting the bar reminded him of the recently concluded Copa America final where he reportedly sent a penalty shot to the hospital.

Guinness, the company in charge of World Records is verifying this unusual claim

#Malariakills
#Treatmalaraiifyoubelievethis

FG to Appoint New Special Adviser on Cow Urbanisation

The Federal Government has concluded plans to appoint a new Senior Special adviser to the President on Cow Urbanization. This follows the incessant requests by Abuja residents and other urban dwellers to ensure that the cows frequently seen in the urban areas follow the rules and regulations of urban cities.

One resident who was interviewed, complained that the cows need to be trained proper use of walkways and obedience of traffic lights. Another resident urged the government to construct public toilets for the cows as it would reduce the need to defecate publicly.

The FG spokesperson did not confirm or deny this proposal, but sources close to the govt confirmed this move saying, it would increase the population of the country and ensure the cows also pay taxes which would improve the economy. This move is expected to generate N1billion to the Govt coffers.

We think its a brilliant move as it will ensure that the Cows also enjoy human  cow rights. They deserve a right to enjoy urban life biko. I hope this won't affect the availability of Suya and my beloved kilishi, before someone starts screaming Genocide

Welcome to BoboTimes

Welcome to BoboTimes!

This is a satirical site where the news is JUST NOT the news, but an avenue to make you laugh out your guts and ease off the stress of the present situation in the country.

Just sit back and relax while we feed you unimaginable and sometimes outright stupid news items only the dumbest will ever believe.

And we won't insult or deride you nor accept insults to/from others.

So... who finally knows how the Nigerian Police found the missing moon?

Stay tuned